Pumpkins and hatchets and such

October in Texas is an interesting phenomenon.

Texas has quite the sense of humor when it comes to her seasons. She taunts you with cool mornings, making you hopeful that a crisp and invigorating Fall has begun, only to change her mind mid-way through the day, offering the same ol' warmth we have experienced all the summer through.

Nonetheless, Fall is a favorite of mine. Friends and fair days and the brief inhale of cooler temperatures and scarves (oh the scarves) and boots and pumpkins of every shade and size and reminders to give thanks and football basketball and the changing of the leaves (kind of) and just an overall welcomed change of heartbeat and breath and rhythm. It is so needed in my year.

But more than all of those things there is a multitude of celebration in the Fall. There is this sweet little collection of loved ones who found life in October. And they are dear to my heart and imperative to my everyday. And it is so very refreshing and life-giving to celebrate each one of them.

You see, in the first week of October we get to celebrate our sweetest sister-in-law. She is such an extraordinary person and has been so much fun to get to know. She made her way into our hearts long before she married into them. She is the picture of strength in difficult times (of which there have been many) and finds the positive in almost any circumstance. I am astounded by her perseverance and support for her husband and family in all things. Her time as a mother has proven to only compliment her further as she has loved her sweet babies well and goes before me as an example of what that kind of love looks like. So celebrating Jasmine is easy to do. She makes the Crumby clan better and for that we celebrate.

As we round the corner into week two of October, we get to celebrate the one and only Sharon Crumby. That lady. Where do you even start? She is a hoot. There is no getting around that. There is a reason my husband finds the joy in laughter. His momma taught him well. From her "helpful hints" to her funny quips, she is hilarious through and through. But we celebrate her for more than her funny words. Because she is one of the most giving, sacrificial people we know. We talk about it all the time. It is truly astounding the lengths she would go to care for those she loves. It is inspiring. I hope I can give the way she does. With time. And finances. And life. So we celebrate our favorite Shay (at least as much as she'll let us). And it is so good and so minimal compared to what is deserved.

Exactly one week later, my mom becomes our celebration. And honestly, this one stumps me every year. Because how do you show someone who has inserted so many good and beautiful things into your life how truly celebrated they are? Because she is so many things we hope to be. And the funny thing is she might not even see those things in herself. We celebrate because she is wise and practical and joyful in her giving and strives to always be better and more and never stop growing in her faith. And because she allows us to be who we are and supports us in it all. She is the greatest cheerleader there is. She loves by remembering. Remembering little pieces of you. The things you enjoy. The things you desire (big or small). The things you wish for with all your being. And so on the 18th of October, we attempt to give a bit of that back in celebration. To remember her desires and plans and wishes and hopes. Even if it could never be enough.

In the final week of this fun Fall month, we get to celebrate two of our sweetest friends. And it is a reminder of how important community is. That it should be celebrated with all our might and in all opportunities.

On the 26th we get to celebrate Courtney. We celebrate her as the most positive person around. She can see the light in any situation. Joy just tags alongside her wherever she goes. Like her shadow. It is inescapable and so deeply celebrated on her day. And she is celebrated because she is life-giving. She desires to know and see and feel right alongside you. No matter the current circumstance or trouble. And this year was hard because our celebrations were not in person. The squeezing and laughing and eating and instagraming were not what they have been. But can I tell you as hard as that was for all involved, my heart was filled with rejoicing all day for my sweet friend's life. There were not many moments yesterday where she was not on my mind and celebration was not spilling from my spirit. Because in a season where celebration looks a bit more distant and different, there is this sweet little reminder that overflows into rejoicing every time in comes to mind.

The Lord is so very good.

He covers the distance. He covers the difference. He allows for celebration in all seasons and in all things. Because He is so darn good. So we celebrated you, sweet Courtney. We celebrated your heart and your friendship and your life and your decision to step into where the Lord has called your family. Distance or not, we celebrated you.

And then just a few days later (tomorrow, in fact), we get to celebrate our friend Kollin(face). We celebrate him as a lifelong friend. As a friend for all seasons. As a friend with the best kind of laugh and the deepest kind of heart. As someone who believes in those he loves. We have seen it time and time again. He is quick to defend those who need a little defending. Who need a little encouraging. We celebrate his love and knowledge of all things sports and his quick wit and his determination to truly live into who the Lord has made him to be. We celebrate his love for Remes and his quirky love for his yard. It is so good to celebrate someone who is such a reminder of how life can weave in and out and thread in all different directions but somehow still connect you to friendship. So we celebrate our fun Kollin(face). Hatchets and all.

And this year we have added one more to our month of celebrations. The tiniest additions sometimes are the very sweetest I've come to find. And my heart leaps for joy at the thought of celebrating this new little friend each year. Seeing him grow (but not too fast) and learn and become a little dude. And this month has been such a fun one as we celebrate sweet weeks of life with this little man. We celebrate the tiniest milestones. And it is so very joyful and welcomed. So we celebrate you too, little Samuel Neil. We love you for all that you already are and celebrate that you have entered into this little family of October fun. We have been waiting to celebrate you and are so glad you are here.

October is a fun one. It is a good month. And my hope is that it always serves as a reminder of how to celebrate those around you. See them for all their good. For all there is to love. And to hope for their future and celebrate not simply the life already lived but that which is to come. People need that. And October is a good time for it. To breathe deep. And just celebrate.

The d word

It's been weeks. Maybe even a month.

Gosh, has it been that long?

And I know I am not supposed to say it, much less write it. In (digital) ink. Where it is permanent. Where others can see it. And know.

Know of my disinterest.

That seemingly unassuming "d" word. The one which shows up on occasion. Like an unwelcome house guest. The one that quietly knocks on the door of my heart and lets itself in when I'm not paying attention. Because, you see, I have left the door unlocked. Unprotected. Unguarded.

Oh sure, I could blame it on my busyness. I could pretend that I didn't notice it once it made its way in. But I did.

I noticed it all. The dismissed thoughts of praying instead of talking. The decision to fill my time with anything but that which would truly satisfy. The constant swatting back of any sort of conviction to pause and contemplate the purpose of my days. I noticed every step of the way that disinterest swayed my decisions and words and dreams and steps. I noticed.

And I have told myself to simply commit myself to what I know to be true. Whether it is what I desire at the moment or not.

And I have come up short. I just have.

I have noticed within myself a shortage of discipline. Of perseverance. Of the stuff that makes up those that are noteworthy. Honorable in the sight of the Lord. The "good" Christ-followers. Whatever that means.

And it is embarrassing. And I hate to type it. To admit that after all these years and all my experiences, that I still find myself sitting in this moment. Filled with disinterest.

But there is a part of me which is committed to documenting this time. To expose my heart in all its messy glory. To be honest enough to evaluate where I fall short.

And today I am praying. Begging rather. For renewed strength to seek what is best. Whether I feel it or not.

It is a cry for help. To the only One who can. A cry for the strength I do not contain of myself to make this life count. To live with a purpose. To abolish my disinterest and kindle this seemingly extinguished flame.

And I know that He is faithful to hear me. Whether my heart looks a little crusty and hardened or renewed and willing. He hears me.

Much needed perspective

So, there is this thing about being an adult. It seems (at least at times) to provide the slightest edge in perspective. It allows one to see things as they couldn't through younger eyes.

Now, I am most certainly not claiming to be mature. Nor am I claiming to always present myself as an adult. But I am on the verge of 30 and that counts for something. (Right?)

In the past month, I have found myself in the midst of family. Family that I hadn't quite seen. Not at least for who they really are.

Because I have a big family. There are SO many of them. And they are loud and crazy and love to have fun.

I have always known that.

And I have always enjoyed being around them. Holidays spent with them have always been a blast. Something I looked forward to all year.

But this month, I have seen deeper. I have been confronted with who they really are. How they REALLY love. And honestly I couldn't be more thankful.

It began with a weekend in Galveston.

Despite the fact that the overwhelming majority of my family was not present for the weekend, there was much talk them. Old stories from college. Memories of holidays and trips. Hilarious conversations relived. Choices made along the way.

One theme made its way throughout all of the words spoken: our family is weird.

Weird because they get along.

They enjoy being around each other.

And sadly that makes my big 'ol family quite strange. And I didn't quite realize it until I heard all the stories. How truly connected my family is to each other. How much they know about each other and how often they CHOOSE to be around each other. On vacations. And girl's trips. And at football games. And on the phone. And in group texts. And on and on.

And honestly this shouldn't be surprising to me. Because they have always been nothing short of wonderful. But life has been busy and somehow I have missed the fullness of it. I haven't opened these brown eyes wide enough to take in how sweet family is. How incredible it is that mine is so close. How beyond our culture that is.

And it is such a gift.

Because there is this thing about having a weird family. They pride themselves on supporting each other. They want to know about all the things going on in your life. They desire to be present. They choose to be a part.

And this makes time with family all the more sweet.

And I am praying that I never forget how good I have it. How very lucky I am to be surrounded by a group of people who love big and hold tight.

And as the season of thanksgiving peeks its head around the corner, I am praising my Father for them. All of them. Because family is good. And I most certainly have the best.

This lady is seriously the cutest Mimi around.

My little ring bearer. Not so little anymore.

JDRF Walk with aunts and cousins (and friends).

This is one of my favs due to the mischievous faces my cousins are making in the background.

Many more pictures to come when I can get my hands on some family albums. :)